I’m starting to develop a real soft spot for Larry O’Brien. Say what you will about hizzoner the Mayor, but you have to admit he’s turned what could have been just another boring election cycle into the kind of solipsistic political farce that, if someone put it on a stage, could single-handedly save the Gladstone. But then, what else would you expect from a man whose first official act as Mayor was getting himself charged with a major crime? Larry’s always acted as though he was literally running for ‘town supervillain’…his resemblance to late-80’s Lex Luthor IS rather uncanny.
But what has Larry done to elevate THIS election to comedy legend levels?? Check it out: A few weeks ago, a poll came out revealing, rather unshockingly, that Ottawa perceived Mayor Larry as arrogant and untrustworthy. In response to this, Larry vowed that, if re-elected, he would immediately grant himself even more power than before. Now you have to admit, this is a level of ‘go fuck yourself’ that most politicians only DREAM of attaining.
Since that stroke of genius has failed to net Larry new legions of adoring fans, he’s been forced to come up with something bold and daring, a new strategy that may be the most unique approach to campaigning I’ve ever heard of…publicly admitting what a shitty fucking mayor he’s been all this time. Apparently in the hopes that we’ll all just shrug and say ‘I guess this means he can only get better, right?’ Honestly, at this point I’m not sure if he’s actually running for re-election, or if the technicians at the lab accidentally started his self-destruct cycle when he got his artificial heart refitted to run on the tears of homeless children.
So at the very least, Larry’s made this election an amusing one to follow, no easy feat in local politics. Especially since it’s down to him, Jim Watson, and a few other guys who are positively, definitely not going to win. Ain’t democracy grand?
The Visitor (who obviously needs more plays to see, so he can stop talking politics)