Howdy folks…long time no Foofarah!  My profuse apologies for those of you so bereft of anything to do with yourselves that you actually read this crap.  I promise to try and make this one worth your while!  I missed the Foof a couple off weeks ago due to technical difficulties, and last week due to paralyzing clinical depression (but FUNNY clinical depression, don’t worry or anything).  Hardly any excuses this week tho!  If I can get some good writin’ done before heading out to CRUSH IMPROV in a few hours, then maybe I can get this out to you, complete with the announcement of my balls-to-the-wall MAJOR Fringe initiative in the works for next summer! you’re gonna dig it the most, you crazy kids.   So what’s first?

IN THEATRES THIS WEEK:

HENRY V from A Company of Fools.  Still touring parks across the Ottawa region, and it’s an absolute must-see.  Margo Mac was BORN to play Henry the Fifth, I’m going on record.

OTHELLO and A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM at the St.Lawrence Shakespeare Festival.  Ongoing over Prescott way, if you’re up for a road trip (or, you know, reading this website from Prescott, as is conceivable), both shows are amazing bang for your buck, AND they both have Kate Smith and Alix Sideris.  Why are you still reading this?

THE GAME OF LOVE AND CHANCE from Odyssey Theatre.  Ottawa’s fav’rit masked men and women are back with a new, Andy Massingham-directed piece of outdoor theatre in Strathcona Park.  Just started, so get it while its hot!

BOEING, BOEING from Theatre de L’ile. Out in Gatineau, French style comedy goings-on continue until the 25th. Quite frankly, they had me with pretty girls on the poster.

QUELQUES HUMAINS from Theatre Belvedere. More cool French theatre, this time at La Nouvelle Scene in the Market, to the 18th.  Don’t know much about it, but I’m betting  that it’ll be sweet.

AND TREAT THE DISTANT PEOPLES WITH KINDNESS from Atelier du Corps. From the 9th thru 11th at Academic Hall, an exciting sounding piece that I know little about, but wanna know more.

And now, here’s that Dan Mangan dude that Katie Hood had a poster of hanging in her living room.  Turns out it’s because he’s so good at singing and stuffs.

SUBWAY.  So Subway has a series of ads up on the radio.  By virtue of the fact that they’re radio advertisements, of course they’re shit (radio advertising is where hack writers go to die), but this latest pack of ad pieces has me particularly disturbed.  The gimmick is that Subway has different subs on sale every day of the week…one day is Tuna Day, the next is Subway Club day, etc.  And each commercial features a different person who has become so enamoured of the home of the sandwich artiste that they have eschewed the traditional ‘Monday’ and’ Thursday’ appelations in favour of the Subway rechristenings.  Harmless enough fun, right?  But it goes deeper than that.  See, not only do the characters in the ads refer to Thursday as ‘Mexican Fajita Banana Sub’ Day or whatever it is, but they honestly DON’T EVEN KNOW that they’re using the wrong word.  They legitimately, vehemently claim that they’ve never even HEARD of words like ‘Saturday’, despite the fact that, as 20-30 something members of North American society, there’s no possible way they could not be familiar with the traditional Gregorian calendar system.  One guy in an ad goes so far as to cancel a date with a girl, on the grounds that she used one of the classic weekday names, as opposed to the Subway variation.  He actually is so engrossed in the new Subway version of reality that it overrides his sexual desires.  In each case, the brainwashed (subwashed?) individual gets into increasingly escalated conflict, be it with a total stranger or even a loved one, over which word is the right one for the days of the week.  And calenders don’t work as proof…one guy actively berates a shopkeeper for selling what he refers to as ‘bogus’ calendars.  This is mind control of the highest order being gleefully depicted as the result of an untoasted lunch sandwich, people, and it makes me wonder who’s behind the subway franchise in what I pray is the alternate universe being depicted in these ads.  Jim Jones WISHES he were charismatic enough a manipulator to actually make people forget the word for Friday. And not down-and-out street people neither…the characters in these ads sound like pretty well-educated middle-class taxpayers to me, the kind of suckers a cult leader would dearly love to ensnare. What do they put in the subs in this terrifying world?  It sure as hell ain’t chipotle southwest sauce, that’s for sure.  Basically, kudos to Subway for sneaking a surreallist, Twilight-Zone horror campaign onto the radio.  And cut down on the fast food, everyone, okay?

MONEY. I’ve recently taken a good hard look at my financial situation, for reasons that I’ll explain in the exciting news to come a little later in the post.  And I’m looking at a situation where I have to try really hard to save a few pennies over the next ten months or so.  Thanks to being a touch too thrifty in recent months, not to mention being gouged by a certain vindictive douchebag of a wedding photographer who shall remain forever nameless, my wallet has to come under tight rein. That may mean I won’t be able to spend as much on theatre in the coming months as I might like, which hurts.  Still, I AM blessed with being on a media list or two, and eternal thanks for that if you’ve deigned to include me on that very precious invite list.  I do not take it lightly, I promise.  In fact, I’ll be absolutely depending on it for next year, when I’ll be launching (hopefully) my ridiculously ambitious, life-altering Fringe plan for 2013.  This year it was TEAM VISITORIUM (and ladies, I know I still owe you dinner…I haven’t forgotten!).  But next year, it’s…

ALL YOUR FRINGE ARE BELONG TO ME!
And just what is AYFABTM you rightfully ask?  It’st he plan I came up with as a joke when talking to Shane Adamczak aka Zack Adams, at the Toronto Fringe recently (get well soon, buddy!), before realizing that I actually HAD to do it.  The plan is: Save up a ton of cash between now and next June.  Then, in the following order:
A) Quit my job.
B) Give up or sublet my Apartment (and safely bunk Winston the Cat with my parents), and finally
C) Hit the road!  Starting with the Montreal Fringe Festival early next June, I will be embarking on what I imagine might be the first ever Cross-Canada Fringe Review tour!  While most cities have not yet announced their official 2013 dates, I’m looking right now at a tentative schedule of: Montreal, Ottawa, Toronto, Winnipeg, Saskatoon, Edmonton, Victoria, and finally, Vancouver.  It would take me across Canada over three and a half months, travelling with the performers and creators who have reshaped my life since I first discovered the Fringe 5 years ago.  I still have a LOT of things to work out for this plan to make it to reality, lots of connections to be made, details to be sorted, rides to beg, couches to crash on, monies to save, the works.  And there WILL be a fundraiser or two to help fuel this madness, so save your spare pennies for THAT one.  I was going to wait a lot longer to announce this, but I need to get going on things NOW, and a public declaration seemed like a good bridge-burning moment.  It’s Red October time, people, and the promised land isn’t going to find itself.  If you’re excited along with me, and especially if you know anyone in any of my planned cities with a room to spare during Fringe next year, let me know!

That’s it for tonight…I’m just home late now from an epic CRUSH IMPROV at the Elmdale.  Brad MacNeil went out of ‘Bout Time with another victory, tho it was a hard fought battle.  Two of the three best ever Bout Time trios squared off tonight (only THE NEIGHBOURHOOD was missing), and even I managed to get on stage for a bit of the fun (Batmobile!).  And can I say how fucking impressed I am by relative newcomers Christine and Brooke from TWO AND A HALF WOMEN? Them gals is bringing the funny but good. Check out Crush every Monday this month for a brand new show at the Elmdale, and check back here soon for some new local show reviews, news, and as always, Foofarah.  Peace, love and soul, Ottawa,

The Visitor (and Winston)