Ninth Class, Level 2 – Sex on the Beach

Spent a fairly calm and relaxed day off yester, enjoying some much-needed sunshine, getting a delicious Ada’s breakfast into my battered frame, and of course, reading some comix.  I may or may not have had a lingering, day-long headache from some overindulgence after a long week of drudgery the previous evening, but that’s neither here nor there (nor, again, here).  No, what’s here is that, being Wednesday, it was time yet again for my level 2 acting class at the Ottawa School of Speech and Drama, and as you can see, this time I wasn’t going to wait the better part of a week to actually write the post.

Got there foolish early as is my wont, ran into my previous coach Barry Karp, and took the opportunity to press him for tips on my upcoming audition with the talented, intelligent and stunningly beautiful Nadine Thornhill (hell no, I ain’t above sucking up!  I’m terrible, and need all the help I can get).  The Boss gave me a good pointer or two before it was time to head off to what would be the penultimate class of our second level, with big cheese Brie Barker.  Continuing his full-on dressup antics, Brie came in cowboy regalia and grilled us on why we would make good cowhands.  It turns out that many of us would not.

A distressingly small-ish class today (Stefan! Vanessa! Rachel!  Wherefore wert thou?), but we managed. warming up with a few rounds of keep-the ball(s)-in-the-air, before moving straight on in to our now-familiar digs at Picton Place.  Aside from myself, there was Sasha, Catherine, Daria and Julie.  And, in keeping with the last post, I’ll let head bartender Peter Crowley fill you in on what happened next:

-Interesting night.  Slow all evening, and then right before I was going to close Dahlia, a particularly easygoing resident, stopped by for a drink.  Then, and this surprised me, Carol showed up and joined her.  It was rather nice seeing Carol relax for once…except that then I had to practically shove them out the door later on.  Had a certain rendezvous that I very much needed to hit across town.  I think Carol understood, and Dahlia was almost asleep.  It all worked out.   Good times.

– Having agreed to do some modelling for Dahlia, I met her the next day in the hobby room (my first time there…very cute) and made myself available for…well, whatever she had planned.  Emma offered some tips, and we ended up going with a sort of saucy, yoga-themed pose.  Carol poked her head in and looked amusingly flustered (and pretty green…I may have made those drinks a little strong for her the night before) before continuing on her rounds.

– So THAT’S Trudy.  I’ve been hearing so much, and now I’ve had a faceful of her  Yikes.  Dahlia finished her painting (VERY nice work), and asked if she could hang it behind the bar.   Debra’s away for the week having some procedure done, so I made the call.  All the questionable bits ARE covered, after all.  But then this lady Trudy strolled in like she owned the place and acted like she’d seen a ghost.  Demanded I take it down, etc.  I did, at least for the duration of her visit.  Which, it turns out, was an attempt on her part to ‘borrow’ a few bottles of Chardonnay for her dinner party.  I explained very calmly that that would violate our liquor licence, but she was having none of it.  Finally stormed out in a huff…I get the impression she’s a lady who’s used to getting her way.  Well, not today.

– Hoo boy.  That was unpleasant.  Just got royally reamed out by Doug, the owner of Picton Place.  Seems miss Trudy has some bucks floating around, and Doug makes a very efficient attack dog when she doth command it.  He laid into myself AND Carol, who Trudy got into shit by claiming she was drunk on the job. Complete BS, but we both sat there and took it.  This sucks.

– Shaking right now. As if Doug’s faux-tough guy routine wasn’t enough, NOW I’m getting attitude from Dahlia.  I get ordered to take the painting down or lose my job, and apparently that makes ME the bad guy in her eyes.  She starts spouting off about what a powerful gallery owner she is, how it’s really HER who pays my salary, and I’d better put that painting back up right now or else.  Like she’s going to give me a new job if Doug fires me over this?  Right.  Good gig or no, I’m not putting up with treatment like this for much longer.  Fuck this shit.

Ow!  Peter, chill the fuck out, all right, you’re only an imaginary construct!  Geez.  But you’ll definitely wanna be here for the climactic finale next week, and that goes double for our missing classmates this week!  Here’s some important info for you kids…Brie has challenged us (and I TOTALLY called this!) to come to the final class dressed AS our character.  Hair, clothes, whatever, go nuts!  Don’t make me be the only one, right? Also, those of us who are planning on re-upping for level 3 should do so ASAP…they need at least 6 of us to give it a go, and there’s literally no break between the end of 2 and the start of 3 thanks to our 2 weeks off.  And remember, drinks after class next week.  Don’t even TRY and weasel out of it.

That’s it for this week…I’m off for pancakes with the gorgeous and brilliant Queen Nadine (I’m serious, I have no shame), then maybe another shot of UNDER MILK WOOD tonite out at Shenkman.  If you haven’t gone already, GO.  It’s one of my fav’rits so far this year.  Tomorrow nite I’ll be doing THE MIDDLE PLACE at GCTC, and then…shit, I don’t know.  Gotta check me schedule!  So much stuff, so little life.  Peace, love and soul,

The Visitor (and Winston)


  1. Thank you, muchly. I alway appreciate a solicitous compliment – though I must tell you if you want to get in my good books, bribery is more effective than flattery. 🙂

    Seriously, though, I’m very, very happy you decided to audition. I can’t wait to see you in action!

    • Thanks again for a delightful lunch date, and for the Rideau Awards thing. I’ll try and think of something to bribe you with by then!
      Except of course, what I’ll really be bribing you with is AWESOMENESS. Which I’ll be bringing on Tuesday nite. SNAP!

  2. Hi Kevin,
    Thanks so much for the recap! I am truly sorry I missed the class. I was physically out of commission. Blah… I was disappointed that’s for sure!!!!!
    I thought the big boss was Bradley. oh well… Not fun getting blasted by him…. I know how it feels.
    I’ll come prepared and will register today or tomorrow for levle3.
    Have you registered yet?

    See you soon,
    Vanessa (or Debra!)

    • Wow, you’re totally right, it WAS Brad. Shit! No wonder he was angry with me. 🙂 I haven’t registered yet, but I’m gonna try and do that sometime this week if I get the time.

  3. I know the audition is what is on your mind these days but just in case there is room for any other thoughts I wanted to pass on that sunday evening there is an open house or at least an open class of the playwriting course at OSSD. I am going to go see what they do and maybe I’ll register for that rather than level 3. Are you going to go? I know you have a play in the making but perhaps you’re going to set that aside a while longer…. Trudy would high heels I just know it but I will break my neck if I wear them Wed.

  4. as it turns out I can’t go tomorrow night – going out for dinner. however I did speak to Paul Dervis briefly today and he sure is enthusiastic and proud of his playwrighting workshop so maybe you will want to consider it in the future. … I’ll be thinking of you Tues and sending positive waves your way.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s