So there was a nomination ceremony earlier this week at the Atomic Rooster, for a thing called the RIDEAU AWARDS.  I didn’t know them from a hole in the wall (in someone else’s home…I know all of my own holes pretty well, thanks very much), but I figgered I’d check it out anyhow. Why not? Nice bar, some drinks, and the crop of the cream of Ottawa Theatre would likely be there…I could pretend to be one of the gang like I sometimes try and do!  What fun!

The ceremony got underway about 5 this past monday, so naturally I somehow got it into my head that it started at 630.  Honest, I must have passed by that place a half dozen times (that’s six) trying to kill time until the ‘start’, even though it must have been clearly underway every single time I strolled on by.  My morbid stupidity amuses SOMEone, right?  Long story no longer, when I finally tried to walk in, the place was packed, people were applauding the latest round of nominees, and I felt so infinitely dumb I just slunk right on outta there hoping I had not been noticed.  Naturally, pretty much everyone I even remotely knew there did, in fact, see me in those few seconds.

Hi everyone.

So AFTER grimly skulking home on the low point of a rather low couple of weeks (and a terrible bus ride home it was…after missing TWO in a row, don’t ask me how, I managed to pick the one where two teeny-bopper suburban skanks decided I was their go-to guy for quietly snickering at and mocking the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME, and since murder is still illegal I was helpless to retaliate), I pondered my fate.  Was it SO bad?  At least I made it home alive, that was something.  So I missed this nomination thingy.  Who cared?  I didn’t even know who these Rideau people were.  Did they live IN the river?  The Canal?  Were they some aquatic, theatre-loving hybrid?  What was their story?

I’m rambling.  Point is, I was going to write the whole thing off until Heather Marie, a local theatre demigoddess of unspeakable power, heard part of my sad story on Twitter.  She replied with this:

“Well I’m sorry you missed it but I look forward to your blog post about the nominations!”

The immediate thought in my head was, “Shit, I’m supposed to write a POST about this?  I wasn’t even THERE!”  But, Heather Marie has spoken, and who am I to argue with the voice that commands Al Connors? So, here we go, with my two Visitorian Cents on the RIDEAU AWARD NOMINATIONS:

Well, first off, I’ll say rather ruefully that I can’t comment worth a damn about the French nominations, on account of not having seen any of them.  In fact, the only French production I saw last year (also my first French prod. ever) was LES GUERRIERS at Studio Leonard-Beaulne.  So, okay, there’s my comment…why the FUCK wasn’t LES GUERRIERS nominated for something?  It’s a god-damned conspiracy, I tells ya!

Right, that gets things off and running…what’s next?  English stuff…Outstanding Production!

Blackbird, Third Wall Theatre
Facts, Great Canadian Theatre Company / New Theatre of Ottawa
Heroes, Great Canadian Theatre Company
Swimming in the Shallows, Arts Court Productions
Turn of the Screw, Screwdriver Collective

A fine list, tho I missed FACTS.  I think personally I’d go for either BLACKBIRD of TURN OF THE SCREW here, although VIMY, I, or AIRPORT SECURITY could have easily made this list for me.  NEXT!

Outstanding Direction
Joël Beddows, Swimming in the Shallows, Arts Court Productions
Mary Ellis, Blackbird, Third Wall Theatre
Patrick Gauthier, Turn of the Screw, Screwdriver Collective
Lise Ann Johnson, Heroes, Great Canadian Theatre Company
Andy Massingham, Twelfth Night, Ottawa Theatre School

More good shows!  Several/most of the SAME shows!  Gauthier or Massingham for me, but what the Hell do I know?  Certainly not how to show up on time for awards ceremonies.  NEXT!

Outstanding Performance, Female
Sarah Finn, Shadows, Queen Mab / Parry Riposte Productions
Emma Hunter, They All Do It, Odyssey Theatre
Catriona Leger, Someone for Everyone, NightHowl Productions
Sarah McVie, Educating Rita, Arts Court Productions
Kristina Watt, Blackbird, Third Wall Theatre

OH!  So much goodness, it pains me to look upon this list.  Marvelous.  There are some names I’m sad NOT to see (Kate? Kelly?  Emmanuelle?), but I like all the ones I do, so…shit, I might have to go with Kitty Leger here.  But you’re all wonderful!  Mwah!  NEXT!

Outstanding Performance, Male
Peter Froehlich, Heroes, Great Canadian Theatre Company
Kris Joseph, Macbeth, St. Lawrence Shakespeare Festival
Kris Joseph, Turn of the Screw, Screwdriver Collective
John Koensgen, Blackbird, Third Wall Theatre
Paul Rainville, Heroes, Great Canadian Theatre Company

An interesting list, if not as interesting as the list right above it.  Now, I love me some Kris Joseph…he’s keen like Afro-Sheen and no fooling.  But were there REALLY not five whole good actors in Ottawa last year, just to spread the love around a bit?  Simon Bradshaw?  Richard Gelinas?  The VIMY lads?  Let’s keep the variety alive, people!

…That being said, I really wish I’d seen his MACBETH.  It was probably awesome.  NEXT!

Outstanding New Creation
Airport Security, Gruppo Rubato
Facts, Great Canadian Theatre Company / New Theatre of Ottawa
Shadows, Queen Mab / Parry Riposte Productions
Six: At Home, Zopyra Theatre
They All Do It, Odyssey Theatre

Apologies, I HAVE skipped over the technical categories (Lighting, Set and Costume design) because I simply don’t feel I have anywhere near the critical eye needed for such things.  Give ’em all an award, I sez!  Hell, I’ll make them dinner!  They’ve bloody earned some good nosh.  And as for THIS group…well, yay for Airport S. finally making the list, and Odyssey..!  Good stuff.  But it’s hard to compete with Shadows, for sure…tough category.  I give up.  NEXT!

Outstanding Adaptation
A Flea in Her Ear, Seven-Thirty Productions
Heroes, Great Canadian Theatre Company
The Radio Show: It’s a Wonderful Life, Gladstone Productions

Oh, come on now..!  What do I know from ‘good adaptation’?  Once again, I’m in over my head…phooey.  Nothing against Heroes (loved the dog), but give it to one of the ones with Oberholzer in it.  He’s a mate.  NEXT!
Outstanding Fringe Production
It’s Just a Stage, Modern Geek Theatre
Multinational Grape Corporations, Negative Theatre
Shadows, Queen Mab / Parry Riposte Productions
Six: At Home, Zopyra Theatre
The Last Goddamned Performance Piece, Black Sheep Theatre

Fringe!  Now you’re talking my language.  And as much as I loved some of these shows (sadly missing SIX: AT HOME), I almost have to nod towards GRAPE, if only because it would be SO FUCKING AWESOME if that spectacularly insane show (which I most certainly did love) actually won a Rideau Award.  I look forward to the NAC remount anytime now.  NEXT!
Emerging Artist Award
Anna Chambers, Stage Manager
Nathan Ings, Actor
Cari Leslie, Actor
Guy Marsan, Actor
Hilary Nichol, Stage Manager

A cool bunch of characters (no Jenny David..?), and I’m right away going with Anna because she’s one of my bosses at the GCTC and she’s cool and I dig her.  Not ‘dig’ dig, you understand….it’s strictly professional.  Don’t start rumours.  Cari Leslie is ALSO cool.

Shit, am I done?  I literally have no idea what I just wrote.  These Rideau thingamabobs are messing with my head…I think the actual awards get given out in April or something, and I’m already making plans to comic-tragically miss THAT ceremony as well.  And I see over my shoulder that Winston has already fallen asleep, ignoring my mad ravings in front of the computer.  Probably means I should go, so…Peace, love and soul, you lot,

The Visitor (and Winston)