That’s it!  No more excuses, internet, we’re getting back to your weekly face full of Foofarah, even if it costs me your lives!  It helps that Crush Improv has FINALLY taken a week off, so I don’t have that built-in excuse to happy-trail it down to the Elmdale and drink the monday away until writing is well-nigh hopeless.  I’m no Hemingway, after all.   But then again, did Hemingway ever provide you with weekly internet updates of theatrical productions in the Ottawa area?  I THOUGHT NOT.  Eat it, Hemingway!

– IN THEATRES THIS WEEK:

STONES IN HIS POCKETS from 730 Productions, at the Gladstone.  Fun and good times from Ottawa’s rising team supreme, Zach Counsil and Richard Gelinas.  Don’t miss out.

THE SECRET MASK at the GCTC.  Terrific, warm, and VERY funny show starring some powerhouse talent and wicked design.  Another gotta-see-it.

LE TOUR DE L’ILE at Theatre de L’Ile.  A French musical tribute to legend Felix LeClerc, and a knee-slapping good time.

HAY FEVER at the Ottawa Little Theatre.  Noel Coward helps the OLT kick off their centenary season, which is quite frankly awesome.

PRIVATE LIVES from Kanata Theatre, at the Ron Maslin Playhouse.  More Coward, this time out Kanata way, for their 44th season debut.  Which calls for a song!

TEEVEE:  Lately I’ve been indulging in a bit of a hobby of mine: genre teevee.  See, back in the day I concocted a bit of an ambitious writing project (read: fanfiction), that I’ve never really forged ahead with but still toy with in my head from time to time.  The idea is simply trying to figure out what would happen if every live action television show ever existed in the same shared universe.  I actually do have a story or two written in this project, and every now and then I really wanna do more.  So of late I’ve been researching (read: watching loads of teevee on my couch with Winston) two particular areas of interest: water and time.  The first is a fun dig through all the marine-based shows I can find, and there’s a lot: Seaquest, Ocean Girl, Surface, Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, City Beneath the Sea (both of them), Goliath Awaits, and my current personal fav’rit, Man From Atlantis.

The Man From Atlantis is so badass he literally saved Romeo and Juliet, I shit you not.  Meanwhile, I’ve been working hard to make sense of all the various time travellers in teevee history.  It actually hasn’t been quite as hard as I’d imagined…lots of them, like Quantum Leap and Seven Days, are very limited in their scope.  The big three so far are Time Tunnel, Voyagers, and of course, Doctor Who (not to mention the various temporal adventures of the Star Trek gangs).  So far, I think Doug and Tony from Time Tunnel, Phineas, Jeffrey and Olivia from Voyagers, AND the Doctor were all present on the Titanic.  I have a theory that everyone on that boat was actually a visiting time traveller.  I’m still researching.  In a related story, the new season of Doctor Who fucking SUUUUUUCKS.  Moffat has lost the plot, gang.  That Western ep was a piece of shit. Hey, everyone who finally wanted to see me negatively trash something theatrical, this is as close as you’re gonna get!

Whatever.  I’ve gotta get working on that 70’s story where Kolchak the Night Stalker, Samantha from Bewitched and a few others lead a rescue mission into the Land of the Lost.  It’s gonna happen, folks, mark my words.  In the meantime, here’s Ghostface Killah.

GOOD CAUSES:  That Indiegogo thing is catching on like gangbusters, folks.  Now that Ottawa expat Nancy Kenny has had a successful fundraising campaign to get the ROLLER DERBY SAVED MY SOUL cross-country tour happening, more companies are jumping on board.  Like local heroes GRUPPO RUBATO, hoping to raise some funds for their upcoming world premiere show SNAPSHOT.  Plus, PLOSIVE productions has a campaign in association with their upcoming Danny MacIvor piece HOW IT WORKS, and I quote,  “designed to help its community’s neediest and most deserving members, by giving free tickets to How It Works to at-risk youth (and the local staff and volunteers in the Ottawa agencies that serve them) in exchange for donations to the campaign.”  The links to their respective campaigns are HERE and HERE.  If you’re feeling a little flush these days, here are a couple of places that you might consider donating.  Because seriously, FUCK that Tesla museum bullshit (you know what I’m talkin’ about).  I think he was kinda cool too…invented cool stuff, for an essentially crazy person, and WAY more likeable than Edison. But that’s a waste of a million bucks, and you know it.  Stop trying to be cool  little hipsters and put your money where it’s needed, okay? Okay.  Sheesh. Here’s a little something from the GHOST BRIGADE soundtrack to wind us down.

That’s enough for tonight, I’m gettin’ all fired up!  I’m gonna find me some GOOD Doctor Who to watch and enjoy the evening.  Peace, love and soul, y’all,

The Visitor (and Winston)